He was gifted. He had an imposing presence. He was made a bishop. He served on the House of God’s Board of Apostles. Those who knew him in his prime spoke of his ability to move a congregation, to speak with authority, to command a room.
But Gay Sr. was also deeply unstable. He held few jobs for any length of time—he worked briefly at the post office before a back injury ended that employment, and at Western Union. Alberta would later say her husband never kept a job for more than three years. He began drinking heavily in the 1950s, according to Alberta. The family’s financial stability rested largely on Alberta’s domestic work.
And then there was the matter of Gay Sr.’s personal life—specifically, what came to light after Marvin’s death. Alberta confirmed to biographers that her husband was a cross-dresser. In 1974, Gay Sr. appeared on the television program *Midnight Special* dressed in a female wig and women’s clothing. In a biography written by David Ritz, family members described Gay Sr. as heterosexual despite these behaviors, but acknowledged that his son found it deeply embarrassing and confusing.
For Alberta, married to this man for decades, the picture was complex. She filed for divorce on the day Marvin was shot, citing a marriage that had been effectively over for years—the couple had been sleeping in separate bedrooms for approximately a decade before their son’s death.
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The household Marvin Gaye grew up in was not a safe one.