## What the Mediator Said
Brooke and Owen had two sessions with the family mediator in July, and Brooke told me a little about what came out of it — not the private substance of the sessions, but the general observation that it had been useful. The mediator had apparently helped them build out a structure for the alternating schedule that had built-in flexibility and a clear communication channel, which is the kind of thing you’d think two adults could work out themselves but often requires a third party to actually make legible.
Part of what the mediator helped them see, Brooke told me, was that the way the previous six months had worked — Owen extending the arrangement without clear communication, both of them telling different adults different timelines — had created secondary instability even in a situation where the kids themselves were in good hands. The lack of clarity hadn’t only been hard on me. It had been hard on Max and Ella in ways neither parent had fully tracked, because kids pay attention to what adults aren’t saying.
The mediator suggested they bring in a family therapist for a few sessions specifically with Max and Ella to give the kids a space to talk about the transition. Owen called me to tell me about this.
“I think it’s the right call,” I said.
“I just wanted you to know,” he said. “Since you were with them through it.”
That was the first time he’d characterized it that way, with them through it. Not managing them, not watching them. Through it.