He didn’t say I was wrong.
“And even if you did,” I said, “I don’t know that I could let go of the fact that you booked it in the first place. That you saw the trip we’d been planning for months and decided, without asking me, that you could change it.”
“She needed something to look forward to.”
“I understand that.” I kept my voice steady. “And I’m not saying your mother’s needs don’t matter. I’m saying that you had a choice between honoring a commitment you made to me and making a unilateral decision to give your mother something to look forward to, and you chose the second thing. Without asking. Without discussing it. Without even telling me for twelve days.”
He looked at his hands.
“That’s what I’m sitting with,” I said.
## Elaine
I should say something about the conversation with Elaine, which happened by phone about five days before departure, after Nathan had apparently told her there was some tension about the trip.
Elaine called me on a Tuesday afternoon. I was at my desk at work and almost let it go to voicemail, then answered.
“I just wanted to say,” she started, “that I know this wasn’t what you’d planned. Nathan told me you were upset. And I want you to know that if it makes things easier, I don’t have to come.”
I set down my pen.
“I appreciate that,” I said carefully.
“I don’t want to cause problems.” A pause. “I know I’ve been a lot for you both since Gerald. I know that.”