I have the apartment. I have the folder of documentation. I have Tessa, who asked me how I felt. I have Luke, who went to our mother’s house and sat down with her and told her the truth.
I do not have a mother who has fully reckoned with what she did. I do not have a clear picture of what the two of us become from here. I do not know if the word “trust” belongs in the same sentence as “my mother” yet, and I don’t know when I’ll know.
What I have is the beginning of being honest about that, which is more than I had before.
## What I Would Say to Someone Earlier in This
I am not writing this as advice. I want to be clear about that. What happened to me was specific to my situation, and the steps I took were steps I took with guidance from an actual financial institution, an actual FTC process, and an actual lawyer. What you should do if something like this happens to you is talk to the right professionals — not because I can’t tell you things, but because I am a medical-office scheduler and not a financial or legal expert, and the situation I was in was complicated enough that I needed people who knew those areas to help me navigate them.
What I will say — what I think is mine to say, because it’s about my own experience and not a prescription — is this:
The part that was hardest was not the practical part. The lender’s process existed and I followed it. The FTC had a system and I used it. The lawyer answered my questions and I went from there. Each of those things was a step I could take, and taking steps is manageable even when you’re scared.