I told him about the Christmas centerpiece remark, and how I understood now that it had landed differently than I intended. I told him about the job contact incident three years earlier. I told him that I thought Claire had a long-standing frustration with the dynamic between us, in which I was the capable older sister who managed things, and that I understood how my manner could be experienced as condescending even when that wasn’t my intention.
“I’m telling you this,” I said, “because I think it’s relevant context and because I don’t want you working from an incomplete picture. I’m not trying to make a case for myself.”
“I know,” he said. “I can tell the difference.”
“The Christmas thing — did she tell you about it?”
“She mentioned it in a way that I now understand was incomplete,” he said. “She told me you’d made a comment that dismissed her vision for the wedding. She didn’t say what you actually said.”
“What I said was that the specific greenery probably wouldn’t be what people remembered. I meant it as reassurance about the stress she was feeling. I can see how it landed wrong.”
“Yeah.” He exhaled. “I wish she’d told me the actual words.”
“She probably didn’t intend to mislead you. She was working with her interpretation of the moment.”
Owen was quiet for a second. “You’re being very fair to her for someone she uninvited from her wedding.”
“She’s my sister. I can be angry and fair at the same time.”