People ask me this, sometimes, when I tell them the broad shape of the story: what would you do differently?
The honest answer is: I would have the real conversation in week two instead of week eleven. This is a simple answer and I mean it seriously and I also know it is easier to identify from the far side of having done the harder thing.
In week two, the situation still felt like something temporary I could manage. And I can manage things. Managing is one of my better skills. The problem with applying management skills to a situation that requires a decision is that managing indefinitely is how four weeks becomes four months.
What I would have said in week two: Patricia, I want to check in on the rental search. Four weeks is coming up and I want to make sure we’re planning toward that date. Is there anything we can help with to make that timeline work?
This is not a speech. It is a question that makes the date real without making it an ultimatum, and it opens the logistics conversation before the alternative, which was waiting until the logistics were no longer theoretical and the date had already passed.
I did not say it in week two because I was being generous, in my own accounting. I was giving her time to settle, I was not wanting to seem like I was counting the days, I was hoping the search would progress on its own because it seemed cruel to be the one pushing.